Struggling in Prayer

My Prayer Bench

 Each morning while at home, I wake at 5:30 am. Or sometimes earlier because of a demanding cat who can't seem to tell time. I wake ostensibly to pray. And each morning in prayer is different.

Some days the list seems long. So many sick and dying. So many friends struggling. So much gets added day after day, how do I pray for it all. Did I forget to pray for that dear friend I promised I would?

Some days I struggle for content. My mind searches for people to pray for, and the well is dry. I know that there are multiple things I should be praying for, but my mind gets blank in the presence of God. And I cannot form the words or sentences that I need.

Some days I am distracted. The wind howls outside. The house is too hot, or too cold. That song won't get out of my head.

Some days I feel overwhelmed. I am just one simple country pastor. Praying the problems of the world into my mind, into my time with God. The global problems of poverty and persecution and injustice. The personal problems of fellow ministers and their churches. Community concerns. Will God hear me? Why would God hear me?

Some days I feel selfish. I focus on my own prayers, my own family, my own battles with despair and indecision, my own struggles against the demonic powers of the world. These days are the worst because if ever there was a place where the enemy gets a stronghold, it is in this kind of self-inspection.

Thankfully, most days I feel at peace in the presence of God. I pray for my friends. I pray for my family. I pray for the world and the church. I am content that if I don't remember everything, God will. And I thank God that I have the opportunity to come into his presence with my concerns. That even after all the selfish and distracted moments, the overwhelming and struggling days, I still offer my prayers. I still remember and love what the Lord has given to me. And I still know the Lord answers this sinners prayers. Amen.